Posted by: Michael McCarron | June 4, 2012

The Brooklin Spring Fair

This Sunday, my family and I (along with friends) went to the Brooklin Spring Fair for the afternoon. It was a bit rainy, but the kids had fun and the smells of midway food filled my nostrils like months worth of hair in a bathroom drain.

…Yes, I know that image is disgusting. It was meant to be.

If you are trying to maintain a healthy weight or, good luck, lose weight, the midway food selections leave much to be desired. Just to name off some that I remember, there were: funnel cakes, ice cream, fries, poutine, cotton candy, hamburgers, hot dogs, sausages, pizza, and deep fried everything. When I say “everything”, I am talking about things on our beautiful Earth that should never see the depths of a fryer; things like Mars bars, Wunderbars, Kool-Aid, and butter. Yeah, butter.

I will confess a morbid curiosity about these items. What does deep-fried butter actually taste like? Is it a flavor all its own or could you compare it to something even more evil to the waistline? I would like to watch them deep-fry Kool-Aid just to see how it’s done. Oh, wait, here’s the video:There you go – “Chicken Charlie” admits to spree-killing at state fairs and his choice of weapon is the deep fryer. His victims may not die that day, but by-gum, they’ll drop.

In case you were wondering about the deep-fried butter thing, here’s a quick video on that horrifying subject:See, it’s not that difficult to kill yourself.

I do subscribe to the idea of, “everything in moderation, including moderation”, but this stuff is just off the charts. This seems like something you’d eat if astronomers told the population that a giant asteroid is going to slam into Earth in seven months and we’ll all be dead anyway, so smoke ’em if you got ’em. Short of that, maybe have a cookie instead. Just not a deep-fried Oreo:

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